Hindsight is 20/20
Updated: Feb 1, 2020
August 14th 2017 part 1.
Every time I look at this picture I can't help but feel like I should have seen everything coming, that I should have somehow known something was wrong. The hashtag says it all really... his head is huge? I remember in the months prior to the day it all happened, I would ask our missionary colleague if she thought Judah's head was too big. I remember googling whether I should be worried about the fact that his lips went blue every so often, that he puked on a regular basis... I remember being so frustrated with how little he would sleep and how the first few months of life with Judah were so bad that I tried to convince Cameron that one child was enough (in hindsight... lol one child). Looking back I can see all the warning signs so clearly but at the time I kept thinking, ok well this must just be what motherhood is like, ok I've got a fussy baby. I thought to myself; I'm not the first mom in the world to have a difficult child, I'm sure I won't be the last.
August 14th 2017 started pretty much like any other day for us in the Dominican Republic. That morning Cameron and I helped the interns set up breakfast for the short term missions team that was there, then Cameron left with the team for construction at the Farm, and I stayed at our apartment with Judah for the morning. Just before noon, our colleague came to pick me and another worker up and take us to the Farm to help with lunch for the team and then set out for an afternoon of VBS at one of the local churches. Sitting in the back of the car with Judah I would look out the window and then play with Judah as he sat in his carseat. It was then that I first noticed it. Judah's lips were turning blue again, but his eyes were moving from side to side and no matter how I tried to get his attention he just wouldn't respond to me. It was so odd, and although it only lasted for a few seconds I remembered the last time that I googled blue lips in infants. The all knowing google advised me that it was most likely because a child was cold, but to be concerned if it happened during a seizure. A seizure? It didn't look like he was having a seizure, I'd seen a toddler having a febrile seizure before and this looked nothing like it.
As soon as we got to the farm, I told Cameron what happened. If you know my husband he tends to be chill about basically everything, so true to fashion Cameron's reaction was "ok cool I guess, just keep an eye on it". After lunch we hopped on the bus to head out VBS, the church we were heading to that day was about an hour away from the farm. During the bus ride it happened again... and then it happened again. I moved from weirded out to full blown worried. I knew beyond a doubt there was something wrong. This was NOT normal. So I googled seizures, and it turns out there are many different types of seizures, some that looked exactly like what Judah was doing. I told our boss what was happening, she immediately assembled the interns and a few members of the short term team, they prayed over Judah, and then she and I began discussing how we should get Judah seen by a doctor. As soon as we got back to our apartment I was going to take Judah to the Emergency room at the local hospital.
I called Cameron and let him know that it was still happening, that we should take Judah in the hospital. He wasn't nearly as concerned as I was at first. Around 4 that evening we were both home, and Cameron witnessed it happening first hand. I don't think I can fully explain how scary these little episodes were. The first time was odd but as they continued to happen, these episodes started to last longer each time.We let our bosses know and then left for the ER right away . On the way I sat in the back of the car with Judah, it wasn't the easiest convincing Cameron that something was wrong so I decided to video Judah so I would have something to show the doctors in case it happened again.
This video was taken on the way to the hospital, we didn't know it for certain at the time but Judah was having a seizure.
To be continued.